my mom said ‘Hitler was a penis potato’
and i have never been more confused in my life
until she looked at me like i was stupid and said ‘dictator… penis potato… god its like you’re not even my daughter’
i am so fucking done
actual photo of hitler
MY LIFE IS COMPLETE.
So I work at an ice cream store, and this girl walked in today and quietly asked me who the man behind the counter was. I responded that he was my manager.
"Oh, he’s cute. What’s his name?"
"Justin, but fair warning, he plays for the, uh, other team."
And I swear to fucking god four people (including myself) yelled ‘WILDCATS’ so loud she spilled her drink.